Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Mommy Instinct

So I'm finally bull dozing over the Pediatrician and going with my Mommy Instinct. For YEARS now, I have complained to the pediatrician about the kid's eating habits. When he was a baby he'd eat almost any baby foods, though he never liked the meats. (can you blame him, just the smell of jarred baby food turkey will have me gagging) I remember his first Thanksgiving. He was 6 months old. We gave him jarred turkey and some very milky mashed potatoes. He hated it all. I was so new to this baby food stuff. I never even thought to ... make my own (I SOOO wish I had!!). I didn't really know what kind of foods to give him when he began to eat more solid foods. I'm such a horrible eater myself. I do not have a wide range of likes. Sure I eat veggies and fruits, but we're talking carrots, green beans, maybe peas, the simple things. No asparagus or beets or wait are beets a vegitable? See... I'm lost in this world of food. But still... I tried to give him a variety, or what I knew as variety. I would give him green beans and (after a year) peanut butter sandwhiches and macaroni and cheese (see.. horrible eater, I know). And he'd do okay with them. But, once he started going to "school" (I refuse to call it daycare and if you knew where he goes, you'd agree... its not a daycare) things seemed to change. While I love the school where he's been going for the last almost 5 years, their lunch program is a bit lacking. They have the same menu that alternates every two weeks. So one week its menu A, the next week its menu B and then back to menu A and so forth. Lunches are: fish sticks, pineapples, green beans, a roll, and milk. Thats just one example. Its not bad, but it sure could be better.
With a loss as to what to feed this child, who I assumed just had to eat "kid food" (wrong!), I followed the school's example and somehow it stuck. His favorite food: chicken nuggets. And it became the only thing he would eat. I totally blame myself for not offering him more of a variety.
As the years went on it only got worse. He hasn't had a vegitable in about 5 years. With the exception that just recently he has been eating spinach leaves. Which I try to give at every meal. But anyway... the child has a hard time trying new foods. And when I mean hard time, that's putting it mildly. We've tried every thing we can think of to get him to at least TRY something new. Sometimes it worked. Most of the time it didn't.
And most of the time if he did try something, he'd be so worked up over the thought of trying a new foods, that he'd start gagging before it was even in his mouth. Gagging to the point of throwing up once the food hit his tongue. So I'm left confused. Have I scared him? Is there something wrong?
Like I've said, for years I have told his pediatrician that the kid is EXTREMELY picky. I've told him the things he will eat and the doctor just shrugs it off saying, that well... some kids are just picky. Okay, I get that. But this is different. Its hard to describe, but it just is different. Something is off. My gut is telling me something is off.
So at this last well-child visit the doctor (probably tired of my complaining) suggested that the kid see an occupational therapist "if I felt the need". The office still hasn't called me back with a referral, so I took it into my own hands and called a center myself. We're getting him set up for an evaluation. I hope they can give us some answers.
Along with the eating issues, I feel that there are some other oddities going on as well. (Not that I think my kid is "odd", I love him with all my heart and soul, but my gut is telling me that there's something off) For instance, he is EXTREMELY sensitive to light. The little booger wears sunglasses when its cloudy. And getting a decent picture of him? Yah, right. He hates the flash, will close his eyes. Take him outside for a pic and he squints so badly.
He has little obsessions that change every 6-12 months. First it was the movie Madagascar. Everything was about that movie. Then he discovered Diego and it was all down-hill from there.
Now we're onto Legos and Toy Story.
As I write all this I think that he just seems like a regular kid. But I just can't place into words my exact feelings on why I think what I think. So frustrating.
I go back and forth on feeling that he might be autistic or have asperger's. But a main part of those two is the social aspect, as in people with autism and asperger's have a hard time with social situations. And that simply is not my child. He thrives on social situations, but at the same time he seems to be different socially than other children he is around.
I feel like I'm trying to shove him into some mold of what a "regular child" is. And I hate that. I just fear for him. I fear that he won't fit in (maybe because I've always thought of myself as socially awkward) or get picked on or made fun of. But when I drop him off at school his friends see him and shout his name excitedly and run to give him hugs. That should tell me that everything is going to be a-ok. It should.


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