Wednesday, April 28, 2010

anniversary

What a way to start a blog... it's my 9th Wedding Anniversary. And as I look back on the day, it was beautiful, mostly sunny, windy, I was a ball of nerves... I can't help but to dwell on my bridesmaids instead of the union on two souls. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, wouldn't trade him for the world, but at this point in my life I'm thinking about those three women. Ya, only three. I've since stopped speaking with all three of them. Its sad really. Each for their own reason... or lack of reason really. Oh, I have two of them as friends on facebook, but we all know that doesn't count as really being connected with someone. But.. my maid of honor. I think about her just about every day. Probably because we had a huge fight about a year, 3 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days ago and haven't spoken since. It pains me. It really does. And I'm trying so hard to let God heal me, to let him show me the ways in which I was wrong, but its just not working. I suppose I should explain more, but I owe it to my hubby to put these thoughts aside for at least today and focus on him. on us. on 9 years. the good times. the AWESOME times. the really really bad tears-of-rage times. the sad times. the I-am-lucky-my-hubby-is-alive times. Oh, ALL the times. 9 years and he's still my best friend and my love.